What were they thinking?
You won’t believe these 10 not-so-great brand names are real
Image: kelisa Bernard
A name is like a business card, and as such, it should be carefully considered. A good brand name is easy to pronounce and remember, clearly communicates what the product or service represents, does not offend, is not an easy target for puns, and sounds appealing. All of these points may seem obvious, but as it turns out, there are always people who think otherwise, throw caution to the wind, and choose names that are bizarre, inadequate, weird, or worse. Listed below, you will find ten examples that fit the bill. Some of these names work. And some don’t. Which ones do you like?
1
Sam and Ella’s
Image: Jason Leung
We get it—you and your significant other built a restaurant and decided to name it after yourselves. Good for you. But if, by any chance, your combined names sound like a food poisoning illness , that might not be the best choice for a restaurant.
The restaurant could have easily been named Ella and Sam’s, to avoid this issue. But maybe, and just maybe, the couple had a twisted sense of humor and decided to go with it and see how it would turn out.
2
ChubbyBrain
Image: Jakub Żerdzicki
What does this name bring to mind? The image of a chubby brain is probably not an appealing one, and it certainly doesn’t convey the idea of a venture capitalist database. Yet, that’s exactly what ChubbyBrain is.
If your business needs funding, this company will analyze its database of venture capitalists, grant providers, and investors and match you up with those who would be most sympathetic to your cause , thus maximizing your chance of successful fundraising. A valuable service, hidden behind a weird name, indeed.
3
Wesabe
Image: Andre Taissin
A word that sounds similar to a Japanese sushi condiment was chosen as the name for this company, founded in 2005 to help users track their spending habits. The idea was a noble one: assist people in getting out of debt and learning how to make wise financial decisions.
But, alas, the company was not able to attract an audience. The name Wesabe was likely intended as a play on "We Save," but it didn’t translate that easily and it ended up being a nonsensical name for a good idea.
4
Cuil
Image: Growtika
There was a time when search engines were more diverse and prevalent than they are today, at least for the general public. Before Google became the giant it is now, Altavista, AskJeeves, Lycos, Yahoo!, and others were the go-to sites for browsing the web.
Cuil was one of those search engines, it boasted the largest search index and the fastest queries . But, for some reason, it shut down in 2010. The name might have played a part in that, as it had no connection to searching and its pronunciation was unclear. Granted, many search engines had equally odd names and still made it. But it certainly didn’t help in Cuil’s case.
5
Boring Business Systems
Image: Rodeo Project Management Software
If your name is also a word, with a meaning attached to it, then it would be wise to consider if associating it with a product or service is a good idea, or not. Named after one of its original executives, Allan D. Boring, this network services and IT support company is unashamed of its namesake. In fact, it embraces it, assuring outsiders that there is "nothing boring" about its features and services.
6
Xobni
Image: Solen Feyissa
One would be hard-pressed to link this name to a product or service, that is, unless you were looking at it reflected in a mirror because Xobni is "Inbox" spelled backward. Yes, this company made email-related products , until it shut down in 2014.
Besides the unoriginal idea of simply spelling your product name backward, it doesn’t help if the resulting word sounds odd and unrelatable.
7
Lawdingo
Image: Tingey Injury Law Firm
The idea of having a Saul Goodman-type lawyer might be appealing to some, but for the most part, people believe that the law is serious business and should be treated as such. Lawdingo is a web service that provides affordable legal advice for both individuals and businesses.
While the idea behind it seems great, the word "dingo" can hardly be associated with the kind of characteristics one searches for in a law firm, like quality and professionalism.
8
Qwikster
Image: Phil Hearing
When choosing a literal brand name, it’s generally a good practice to select one that clearly associates with the product or service offered. Qwikster was a company launched by Netflix in 2011 to focus on the DVD-by-mail service branch of the business.
According to the people in charge, the name Qwikster was chosen because it referred to quick delivery. Or at least that is what they thought. While the name does have a rhythmic quality, it doesn’t really connect to the service it was meant to represent.
9
AmericInn Hotel
Image: Marten Bjork
Some brands thrive despite having less-than-ideal names. AmericInn Hotel is a mid-priced hotel franchise consisting of 240 locations across the U.S. While AmericInn has done arguably well for itself, one can only wonder how much better it might have performed with a different name.
The problem isn't the name itself, but its awkward spelling. Any brand thinking about purposefully misspelling common words, should proceed with extreme caution and only use this resource if it truly makes business sense.
10
Backrub
Image: Greg Bulla
As strange as Google might have sounded at first, BackRub would have sounded even weirder had it gained the same level of recognition. Founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin named their first search engine BackRub in 1996. A year later, BackRub became too large to operate on the Stanford University servers that hosted the website, prompting them to register the now-familiar domain name Google.com.
While using the expression "rub it" in the same way we use "google it" today might have been a possibility, it certainly does not have the same ring to it.
